Conversations in the Convent

from the divine and the sublime to the very, very funny (as overheard by the mouse in the corner)

All that money — August 28, 2016

All that money

Sister A and Sister B are discussing at breakfast the salary of one of the Big 10 coaches.

Sister A: “$7 million is way too much for a coach’s salary!”

Sister B: “Well, you don’t know what he’s doing with that money.  I make 5 million for my teaching job, and I don’t see most of it.”

Strong stuff — July 12, 2016
Enunciate clearly — May 17, 2016

Enunciate clearly

Always be careful to enunciate when leaving a message on an answering machine.

Sr. Sarah checks the machine and hears this message from Sr. Mary Z. (who cares for elderly women): “Adelle has died, and I’m wondering if you could find a couple of guys to drag her into the woods.”

Sr. Sarah: !!!???

Sr. Sarah proceeds to call Sr. Mary Z. who clarifies: “No, a doe has died in our backyard and I need help getting it out of there.”

*=)) rolling on the floor


My corn tastes funny — September 16, 2015

My corn tastes funny

This did not happen in the house I live in, but not mentioning any names.

Overheard at dinner:

Sister #1:  “My corn tastes funny.  Does your corn taste funny?”

Sister #2: “It tastes fine to me.”

Sister #1: “Taste this,” grimacing.  “Taste my corn.”

Sister #2:  “I’ll take your corn.”

Scooping it onto her plate #1, spots something red.  “It’s my Colace*!”

*stool softener

Take-off and landing — August 17, 2015
Who’s that? — July 20, 2015
No need to buy more — July 15, 2015
That one’s already taken — July 9, 2015

That one’s already taken

Sr. Sarah, at dinner last night, was telling the story of taking the Sister who is making her Final Profession to the jeweler that day to order her Profession ring.  “You know, she asked them to engrave it.  With ‘One ring to rule them all.'”  If we hadn’t had guests for dinner, I (the Superior) would have responded: “But that’s the one I wear.”

Speaking of names — May 1, 2015
A new name — April 30, 2015

A new name

Sister Sarah does the shopping for our house.  It’s not unusual for me to find her with her head in the fridge, putting away groceries.  Tonight when I saw her there yet again, I said, “Well hello, Sr. Sarah in the fridge.”  She responded, “That’s my  new Native American name.”   *=)) rolling on the floor

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